What a Mighty God We Serve

Sundays are considered the day to rest. To prepare for the upcoming week. This year has been a very pivotal one in my life as well as many others. Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy. We must give it to God and leave it with Him.

One of the greatest compliments ever bestowed upon me came recently from my son's friend. She said "you don't look like you just had a baby". I don't feel like it either. I was so scared about so many things and everything worked out great. She's the same age I was when I had David. The years will fly by so fast. My Pootie will be grown with God's Grace before I know it.

Everything that we go through both good and bad prepares us for what lies ahead. People come to me for advice alot. I try to be objective and truthful. We don't see what others do. That by no means says be a fool-but we tend to be too hard on ourselves.

I know I can only speak for myself but I cannot waste any more time. I don't have it to waste. I used to mourn the life I led but life is about evolution. About new experiences, broadening our horizons.

J.J. really keeps me going. It's so hard for me to be happy. I have for a long time dealt with things by pushing them down deep inside me. It's not healthy. So now I write. Every day.

J.J. is so smart. I KNOW he's my child and he's only seven months old but he is so intelligent. I try to follow the model my mother set for me. She read to me all the time. She taught me a vast array of words. Sure Daddy did the homework with me and helped with the projects. But the foundation of my intelligence began with my Mommy.

It's so hard at times to live your life wondering what someone who was always there might do now that their gone. My Mother was always there for me in every way. When I hurt she hurt harder. When I cried she held my hand tight because she wasn't very emotional. Even at the end when I wasn't there for her she still was worried about me because that's what Mothers do. I find myself letting go of so much stress by finding solace knowing not only is my Mother watching over me but she wouldn't worry about it. So why should I?

I used to get mad because it felt like nothing I ever did was good enough for her. Now I know she just had lofty goals for her daughter. When I got the job at Verizon the former Bell Atlantic she said "that's great but you never listen to me I told you to be a Customs Agent". When I was young she got me an opportunity to go to Texas for two months and train as a Customs agent. But I was "grown" and declined. Years later we talked about it and she said" as a black woman I always wanted you to work for the government so you would always be employed". She was just so HAPPY I acknowledged it. I HATED working at the Post Office. Now I look back fondly on the times we spent together in that building.

I may not physically see you Mommy but I know you walk besides me. I know you want me to write. I know you want me to live my life. I know you want me to take the gifts God and you gave me and use them to help others. I know you want me to enjoy my children and not worry about anything.

My faith in God has gotten me through so much! I was raised in the Church. My late Godmother Sis. Audrey Davis was an Evangelist. So I know The Word. Proverbs 3 5-6 verse "Trust in The Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding". Everything in life is preparation for what is coming next. It is already written. Because God and Ginny told me so.